I haven’t always been good to you. In fact, there were years I was darn sadistic towards you.
I forced you to drink way too much tequila, smoke too many cigarettes and i took you for stupid, not thinking you were wise enough to decide how to function. i used to shove pills down you to make you get up, (let’s also not forget the coffee, the bioplus and the thinz), when all you really needed was a lie in, you were telling me you were tired, but there was no time for a girl like me trying to make it in this world to hear that. you had to perform at all costs, no matter what the consequences and there were consequences.
and when you started to tell me you were stressed, perhaps a bit anxious, that i had taken on more than i could handle, i didn’t want to listen so i shoved some calm-me-down pills down you and even some make-me-sleep pills when the get-me-up pills started to keep you up. i treated or should i say i mistreated you as though you were worth nothing. i partied all night, hardly ate, slept little and let other people hurt you too.
of course you got a chronic illness , and i left you in the hands of a doctor who didn’t care too much for you. why should he have, i didn’t care for you either.
you and i know the full story about what I have done to you. Yet despite all of this, and I am so, so so sorry for what I have done to you, you have always stood by me.
when i stopped trying to kill you off slowly, when i realised that you and me, we had to work together, things changed.
i started listening to you, and my gosh you spoke a lot when not drugged up and pushed around.
you told me lots of things, even down to who i should be with and who is shouldn’t be with.
SO i stopped drinking, drugging, taking pills, i started eating good food, and dumped the junk on-the-run-food, i stopped taking pills just because some doctor told me i should and i waited to listen to you. and you never kept me in the dark.
i always say that i cured myself of a chronic illness, which i no longer have, but it was you champ who did it.
dear Body, forgive me for the years I tortured you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me, for never giving up on me.
On the eve of our birthday, i dedicate tomorrow to you, brave, beautiful body, who despite the odds against her by a once mad tyrannical person, never gave up.
I love you my body, isn’t it odd that now that you are older, curvier, droopier, and fleshier, i should love you so much more.
thank you for being the vehicle for my soul to experience such amazing things on earth, thank you for always surprising me with your strength and loveliness.
Today, I recommit to honour and respect you for the wise being that you are
Happy birthday dear Body xxxx