does it really matter that much

Does it really matter to me

that you don’t kiss me passionately anymore

that you kiss me like I am an old family member,

no tongue, no gentleness,

a dispassionate kiss

That you have withdrawn from me,

and used work as an excuse

does it really matter to me

that you invaded my private space

and then kept it from me again and again,

‘no more lies, no more secrets’,

does it really matter that I woke up this morning with an aching heart

and with a lump in my throat as I tried to fight the tears

of how you have completely withdrawn from me

how could I hold your hand last night

when I felt no love in it from you

passively

aggressive

aggressive

passively

my soul may be sensitive

but it is my flesh

that feels it

right now it feels

like an army of marching soldiers

is doing their morning parade

upon broken glass inside my heart

I feel I am shutting down

this is all too painful

I am not sure why you chose me

to play this game with

it’s a game

that makes me

wish

I

was

rather

d.

e.

a.

d.

and in the end,

does it really matter at all

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15 responses to “does it really matter that much

  1. Wow! Intense and raw- I love how brave you are with words! I really like this poem…

  2. I had to stop and catch my breath as I read this…I have felt this pain…and your words reminded me of that time…here’s hoping this is more fiction than fact.

    • oh gawd don’t ya just hate that feeling. more fact than fiction, but the wonderful thing about words is their ability to heal, once written it always feels better inside. feel very grateful for your poems which often make me reach deeper into myself. thanks

  3. It absolutely does matter! Both the PAIN and the JOY in this short life makes us who we are. It’s a game if we chose to play OR we can chose NOT to play. We always have choices – just got to make them. K

    • K, you have been verrry missed indeed. thanks for letting me wallow in my pain for a day before coming to give me a kick up my cyber butt to wake up 🙂 off to explore your creativity right now, ps. the writing workshop material is coming together nicely xx

  4. Good to hear about your writing workshop falling into place. My Ireland “photo” / “seeing” workshop went great. Now off to NY to get my daughter on a plane to Rome for college. K

  5. It always matters. It’s painful that it is more fact than fiction. Hope the situation is rectified soon! 🙂

    • hello you, yes i am feeling quite relieved and lighter somehow, and sometime si think all these boy distractions matter less than the stuff that is realLy important…like my choclate cupcake right now 🙂 x

  6. Glad to see you are getting your priorities in order 🙂

    Eating Cupcakes Ymmm!

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