Tag Archives: gritty

Same but different

Yes I get up every morning

Yes I do get dressed,

set good intentions

Get into my car

Sob all the way to work

Yes I do go to work

And smile

And create, and chat, and work overtime

Yes I see my friends

We chat and talk laugh and tease

But it’s different

In a way I can’t explain

The physical ache of you not here

Is a constant reminder of what is gone

That something is missing

A dream

I’m at your graveside

Manically digging to get to your casket

To open it, to see you once more , to hold you

No one knows

Lest they’d think I’m mad

But breathing since you’ve died

Is one if the hardest things to do

In and out

Yes I’m dressing

I’m going to work

But it’s just not the same

Almost there

beyond the Darkness, is the Light. Keep walking, keep writing, you’re almost there…image

it comes in spurts, starts and finishes

it doesnt get easier but harder

yesterday i lost my phone with your voice message on it that i’d listened to again and again

last night was the first night i went to bed without your voice

it felt so scarily real

that you were gone

even the smell on your clothes that reminded me so much of you is beginning to fade

i want to hold on

i want to hold on

please don’t be gone, please tell me it’s a dream

please come back

tell me this is not real

 

(on grief and grieving – 41 days)