she put all her pain and suffering
into one drawer
the drawer of pain
The photo of her
a crucifix that had fallen off
given to her by the priest,
a letter from her sister
some unpaid bills
and she closed the drawer
and then she locked it.
but one night as she lay sleeping in her bed
(the drawer just a few steps away)
all the pain locked up inside
eyes, a nose, a mouth,
bones and flesh
and grew and grew
in the drawer
and, as she lay dreaming,
a vicious banging from inside
startled her awake….
the monster within banged and banged and banged
“let me out, let me out”, it screamed
beneath her covers
yes, frightened stiff.
‘if I’m really quiet and really still
he won’t even know I’m here.’
But the banging persisted and became louder and louder.
‘Okay then’ she said out aloud.
‘I’ll show you what a scream sounds like’
And so she started screaming, so loud that even
the most crazy person would have labelled her unwell
but after a while
she became too sore to carry on
but still she could hear the monster
in the drawer…
‘The gun, where is my gun’
‘I will just shoot it,’ she decided…
but a she reached for her gun,
she made a strange realisation
the sound of the monster’s cries
seemed to have shifted
and were coming from within herself…
she would have had to kill herself to kill the monster…
in that absurd realisation
She finally surrendered.
And got out of bed.
She shuffled to the drawer
expecting the worst.
it was just as she had left it-
and some unpaid bills.
so she took out the image
of her daughter
now long gone
and she stroked it,
and as her first tear fell
the monster’s cries
that had kept her up for so long…..